Bobby Vinton used to sing "Lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely. I don't got anybody for my own." Then there was President Woodrow Wilson who used to talk about always being an outsider, even after he became the President of the United States. I certainly can understand how that feels.

I am naturally most comfortable with small and familiar groups of people. With these people I know, I like to politic and debate, but somehow when I'm outside of them it is difficult to understand others. I feel as though I just don't understand these peoples social conventions. I'm always perpetually scared of making a fool out of myself.

In part I want to be myself, live in my own little world. I want to enjoy quiet walks in the woods, and moonlit nights. I hate noisy crowds where the mentality is that of cows and not people. It just seems that people are scary, they don't understand my life. I don't see the ins and outs of rural life, even though I've lived it in my liberal bubble for years, and I also feel strange in the big cities.

At the end of the day, I like my colleagues, even if I don't really have any true friends. Some day though, I do want to meet that special one to share my dream of the free life.