Few individuals are perfect and most of us have problems that haunt us every day of our lives. Many of these daemons are dark deep secrets that are never revealed, and others have a way of poping up in the most unexpected ways. As an individual, I believe that it's better to be open about these problems, explore them, and find ways to sublime them into benifical things that add instead of detract from our lives. Any psychological weakness inheritbly is an important part of ourselves as individual. Below I explore eight of my most serious failures.

1. Analytical to the Extreme: Analysis and free flowing thought about the issues is everything to me, details and feelings are often overlooked. I tend to see things a certain way through concepts and not necessarily through reality. Many people do not like when I put analysis over the human condition. Likewise it distorts and colors my perspective on the world around me.

2. Believe in the World: I still believe deeply in social progress, and that I as an individual can change things. I have to realize though that I am facing whole bureacracies and people who have a lot to loose by political change. I tend to see things in our world to be more perfect then they really are, and think that we live in a lot better place then we really do live in.

3. Crudeness and Direct: I am not as gentile as some people when it comes to issues. I say how I feel about things. Many people do not like this about me. It is good to shock people and make them think, but it always runs the gambit of insulting or angering them. I see my reaction to some of Michael Moore's stuff and I realize that some of it is my own weaknesses.

4. Imaginative and Spectulative: I can often imagine many things with many possibilities that are far out and unrealistic. Sometimes I devote too much energy to spectulation or take too great of risks to get something that otherwise would be impossible. Progress can not occur without risk, but should ever part of my life be betting the farm?

5. Increadibly Insecure: One of my greatest deamons is my insecurity. I feel as though I can rarely be at ease, particularly when facing an unknown, inexperienced event that could have a dramatic impact on my life. It started out as a fear of heights and loud noises as a little kid, but has transformed into other aspects of my life as responsibility has grown and the risk has gotten larger. I've come to realize that it's unlikely that I will fall off an escalator and get killed, but I've realized I'm only a few steps away from rapidly falling down the social strata or into insanity. In some ways, I realize my logic is flawed. My grades have always been good, and most of the risks I have taken have been calculated. Sometimes, however there are things far beyond my control that pose a great risk to me. Sometimes extreme risk is necessary for a reasonable reward for my actions.

7. Love Burning Stuff: I have always enjoyed burning things. Maybe it's a rural male thing or a byproduct of some kind of mental weakness. There is nothing particularly wrong with it except when an individual fails to sublime his love of fire into ways that are legal, pratical, and safe. I tend to categorize this as demoniac not because it negatively effects my everyday life too much, but it does in some regards effect my personality.

7. Perfectionist and then Some: I tend to over emphasize doing things right, and downplaying human error. I sometimes feel as though I am failing, even though I know that my work is good. Criticism often hits me incredibly hard, and effects me in ways that force a significant re-evaluation of my work. I am rarely happy with my work as a finished project, wanting to come back and revisit it in ways that would improve it. Resources such a time and data are often limited, and my work represents a compromise.

8. Rapp Road Consumerism: Cities and their suburbs are about extreme amounts of consumption. We have supermalls, superhighways, vinyl-sided suburban houses, and the final resting place called the Rapp Road Landfill. Cities have started recycling programs, but they seem minuscule to my rural experience where everything is mostly recycled, reused, burned, or composted instead of dumped in a big heap all together. Wealth makes it possible for city people to toss what in my own life would continue to be used for a long, long time.

I could probably go on forever listing my weaknesses. There are a great deal of things that trouble me greatly, but I believe that this list covers most of them in a conscise way. Some of these problems are weakness of my personality or intellect, and others are caused by poor choices. Many of them seem to be related in one way or another. Finally, almost all are related directly to my socialization and my background.